Academic Line Management

Click a desk slot to fill a post.

A tower defence about academic email. Thirty years, one career.

YEAR--

Turn the phone sideways to play

The board is six rows wide

Keys, all of them

Arrows
Move the cursor across the pad cells, and pick the in-tray row.
Space
Fill or regrade a post on the cursor slot. In the countdown, start the year early for a pound a second.
Enter
Start the run from the title. Restart from the ending screen.
Z / X
Answer the choice in front of you. Z accepts a decision card and X declines it; with the chair's privilege row open they move along it and the band names the privilege and Enter fires it; with neither they cycle the class. The band under the board says which of the three is live.
C
Accept the next promotion. One a year, at the start of a year.
T
One triage action. The leadership professor's absence asks for one every twenty seconds; if it is not taken, a hard message arrives in every row at once.
Delete
Dismiss the hire on the cursor pad. Nothing is refunded and the upgrade level goes with it.
B
Open or close the writing desk. Its six entries are clicked on the row of buttons under the board.
P or Esc
Pause.
Mouse
Click a pad cell to place. Click the decision card to answer it. Click a desk entry to pay the APC, click the privilege chip in the band to fire the highlighted privilege while its row is open, and the MUTE button at the right end of the band to mute.

How you play

Mail arrives in six in-trays, one for each row of the board. You place posts on the desk to answer it before it reaches you.

A year runs on a clock. Clearing all the mail ends the year early, and that pays a pound for every second left. Waiting the year out pays nothing.

You have thirty years. The last screen is your retirement statement. The statement is your score.

The numbers
  • A clear pays 20 pounds plus 6 for each year index, and 8 headroom back.
  • A full career pays 1510 pounds of year-end money across 30 years.
  • Ending the year early pays a pound for each second left on the clock.
  • A decision card arrives about every 30 seconds, from year 1.

The desk

The desk holds four kinds of post. A research assistant is cheap, fires often and reaches a short way. A senior research fellow costs more, fires slowly and reaches furthest. A principal investigator sits between the two. A department administrator slows the mail around it.

Each message carries the letter of the family that answers it best, and the same letter picks its colour. A message marked N takes the most damage from more than one family at once, so no single post is the best one.

Complaints end a run. Three complaints that reach the desk and the panel ends your career at once. A complaint arrives in the teaching row wearing its name above it, and it takes far more answering than routine mail. It carries M: it is a marking job, so no post that stands at the desk today is its best answer, and an apply post does least against it.

A chain is one job at more than one level. A higher level replaces the one below it in the same slot, and it does the same job harder and reaches further.

The ring under a post shows its state. Ochre means ready, slate means reloading and bordeaux means silenced. The ring under your cursor shows how far the post in your hand reaches.

The numbers
  • Posts: a research assistant answers Query, a senior research fellow answers Review, a principal investigator answers Apply, and a department administrator answers Data and slows the mail.
  • A regrade is a second purchase on the same slot, and it is sold at the price on the regrade row.
  • A dismissal refunds nothing, and the upgrade level goes with the post.
  • Six rows and six in-trays, all live at once.

Money

Four incomes. Salary sets the other three, and it cannot be spent.

Grant money pays for posts, equipment and papers. It never pays for your own time.

Your own money pays for your time: a conference place, a teaching buy-out, the sabbatical. The pension grows every year and is never spent. The pension is the point of the thirty years.

The numbers
  • Personal fellowship: 286000 pounds over 3 years.
  • Project grant: 715000 pounds over 3 years.
  • Programme grant: 1430000 pounds over 3 years.
  • Centre award: 2860000 pounds over 5 years.
  • A grant pays its whole value into grant money held at the start of its first year.
  • Each grant held adds a Reporting requirement a year and raises the admin rate by 6 per cent.
  • A grant cannot buy your own time.
  • A conference place is 561 pounds of your own money. A teaching buy-out of two tenths is 7500 pounds.
  • The sabbatical costs 7500 pounds of your own money and 4 standing.
  • Equipment costs 25000 pounds, and a grant pays for it.
  • The pension is one seventy-fifth of salary, up to 74208 pounds a year.
  • The desk opens with 2 posts and grows to 5 at the chair.

Your career

Four promotions stand above your fixed-term lectureship. You accept one each year.

A refusal tells you which condition you missed.

The review at the end of year 3 decides whether you keep the job. From year 2 the panel shows how you stand against each condition.

The numbers
  • The career ladder. Four promotions above the fixed-term lectureship, and you accept one a year. A refusal names the floor that failed.
  • Lecturer arrives free in year 4, on a passed review.
  • Senior lecturer, from year 8: 2 standing and an h-index of 2. Marking rota: the Query and Data posts fire 25 per cent faster.
  • Reader or associate professor, from year 12: 3 standing and an h-index of 3. Research leave: a paper enters print at once.
  • Professor, from year 16: 4 standing, an h-index of 4 and 30 citations. The chair adds 25 per cent to income, and the tracks unlock.
  • The probation review. It is decided at the end of year 3 and applied at the start of year 4. It asks for an h-index of 2, 3 standing in hand and 25 headroom. The panel states your standing against each condition.
  • The route through the review. The review lands at the end of year 3. It asks for an h-index of 2, 3 standing in hand and 25 headroom. A Letter costs 1400 pounds of grant money. When it is funded, it pays 1 standing and 2 citations a year in print. The grant card pays. Grant money comes only from a grant. The first card offers a Personal fellowship. Accepting it pays its whole 286000 pounds into grant money held at the start of its first year. Income never pays the APC.
  • The confirmatory review is at the start of year 19. You choose a chair in the years 16 to 18. If no chair is chosen, the desk stays hybrid and earns 10 per cent less income.
  • Two chairs, with three privileges each. A privilege is bought with standing, one a year. The chip in the band fires the privilege the highlight is on.
  • The sabbatical is offered once, in year 8, and runs for 45 seconds. While it runs, the three most expensive posts stand down.

Your people

You start with 24 colleagues. A quick favour, an unpaid favour and a split paper each cost you one colleague.

Three complaints that reach the desk in one career are a hearing.

The meter sits beside the resolved proportion, and it never goes below zero. Nothing is ever spent from it.

The numbers
  • The colleague meter. The run starts with 24 colleagues. One is lost for every 3 quick favours you answer. One is lost for every favour still owed. One goes for every paper split into a trilogy. It floors at zero.
  • Three complaints to the desk in one career is a hearing.

How a run ends

Headroom at zero is burnout. A third complaint is a hearing. A failed probation review ends the run before year 4.

A career that closes small also ends the run: too little grant income, or no publications at all.

Every ending names its cause on screen, and you can start again straight away.

The numbers
  • Four ways to lose. Burnout: headroom at zero. A hearing: a third complaint to the desk. A failed probation review: the run ends before year 4. A career that closes below 150 pounds of grant income, or on an h-index of zero, meets expectations.
  • The ending names the messages that took the desk, and you can start again straight away.

Help

Six panels. Pick one.

Staff

Class

Family legend